#4 – German Music

I felt that after such an abysmal performance in the football I would try and cheer myself up somehow. I figured a little light xenophobia and negative stereotyping would do the trick just fine, so here it is. Just before I do start generalising I want to do three things: well done Germany, you completely outplayed us in every way; England – what the hell?! I have seen League 1 teams defend better than that; and finally, Sepp, if you’re reading this, goal-line technology. Anyway, here goes…

German music. Not very good, is it?

While that should be enough, I’ll try and justify such a (frankly outrageous) statement. The impression we get of German music in the UK is that it’s stuck in the 80’s/90’s and they sing about red balloons and efficiency and other such (relatively meaningless) things. So, in the spirit of all things anti-German I thought I’d ignore the Berlin Techno scene, the quality dance music and Kraftwerk. Here are three examples of why music from the UK is better than music from Germany.

Alphaville – Forever Young

Okay, this is a bit of a cult classic (it’s in Napoleon Dynamite, don’t you know) but it’s a pretty terrible song. And it fits pretty nicely into the 80’s generalisation. Actually, I think it was written in 1979, but accuracy clearly isn’t the point of this post right now.

Silbermond – An Dich

This song is like something by Avril Lavigne, in German. If you have a look at some images of the band they’ve marketed themselves at that angst-y 13 year old girl market, with dark clothes, heavy makeup, etc, etc. For a band that have been pretty active in the ‘noughties’ (I hate that expression, but it’ll have to do) they sound horrendously 90’s. The gist I’m getting at is that they’re not very good.

Die Toten Hosen – Ich Bin Die Sehnsucht In Dir

Die Toten Hosen (also known as DTH) have been going since the early 80’s and they call themselves punk. If they were really punk they’d have got together in ’82, been signed in ’83, learned to play their instruments in ’84, had a low selling album or two in the next couple of years and been part of the legacy of punk by ’87. Instead they’re still making music. It’s like Green Day calling themselves punk. You can’t be Punk after a 30 year career making insane amounts of money. It’s simply not Punk.

There you go. Three examples of why, in spite of having been schooled in the football, England is better than Germany! 😀


Filed under Music

3 responses to “#4 – German Music

  1. what’s about guys like rammstein, boyz noize, nena, wir sind helden, guano apes, die ärtzte, ich und ich, xavier naidoo, söhne manheims, seeed, unheilig, scorpions, tokio hotel, beatsteakes, glashaus, fritz und paul kalkbrenner, paul van dyk, marek hemman, modern talking, spencer and hill…

    there are a lot of good german musicians and i am kind of sad to read this.
    just look behind the stereotype and listen.thats music about, right?
    just listen to some of them and dont judge because of their style.

    and germany beats the english three lions every time so who can play better soccer?

    • I absolutely agree with you that there is a lot of really good German music. In spite of my xenophobic rant, I actually do quite like a fair few of the artists you mention above, plus others (notably Digitalism). In my defence, Germany had just beaten a lamentable England in the World Cup, so I was hurting! 🙂 I can happily say I’m over it now though. If I can muster up the energy I might even write a follow-up defending Germany’s music. By all means send me some of your favourite songs and I’ll consider them

  2. palone

    So here are just a few tracks random genres in german speech. but there are a lot of other artist who are singing in english aswell, or just thegerman minimal I am really proud of. check this 🙂 enjoy even u cant understand but feel the music! keep rollin’

    Xavier Naidoo – Ich jenne nichts (das so schön ist wie du)

    Nur in meinem Kopf

    Phillip Poisel – Eiserner Steg

    Untertagen -Dreh den Swag auf

    German Rap: Cro – Easy

    more electronic stuff:
    Marek Hemman – Gemini

    Marek Hemman – Pictures

    Kölsch – Loreley

    or just stuff like Liquido – Narcotic…

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